Confused....

Sometimes i wonder what i would have been like if Dan came after me. I wonder what it would have been like if we first met when i was was a freshie in NYP or something. I can't help but think he'd probably would not have noticed me at all... . Then again if he did notice me he and his friends would have probably would have made fun of me like bullies usually do and me end up running to the girls bathroom and spending the whole day in there just crying... eventually with me just quitting school.

Sometimes I'm so oblivious of the things around me that really matter much more than the things i'm giving my undivided attention to. Is love staring me in the face but i'm just too blinded to see it?? Or do i just want to feel special every now and then...? Or is it that i have to grow up so fast.... or is it because i have no faith in myself that i actually do seserve better....?