I have nothing to say...My only joy has disappeared again.

	should be in Lion King! YAY! I like!!! heehehehehehe~* What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
	Heavy metal! You rock! It's mostly about the music instead of lyrics for you... But you channel most of the emotion through the lyrics! Mosh pit for you! Just be careful you don't give yourself a concussion with so much headbanging... What genre of rock are you?

Baby would be so proud of me.. hehehehehe!! not too sure abt the mosh pit and headbanging bit though....hee~*

Thanks Ewan.. Your page cheered me up alil....Still... Nothing can replace my baby's presence......
Missing you love.... Call me when you see this.

Ahhh fuck lah.... it's just 2 marks... bleah.. i'm sittting in my nwf lab after a day that seemed to be really perfect... and yet agian.. the damn republik of sinjiapure navy caomes along and spoils it yet again.. they always manage to screw up things... i think it's their job. My teacher is standing right next to me... but i don't really care... but then again.. it's not like i don't know how to do it... u're askiing me to form a network; to map my classmate's network to mine.... BUT there's a catch to it.... the people who got the marks... were using MY computer.... so where do i do my work ?! what a dumb as.,.. it don't under stand why HE HAD TO USE MY COMPUTER AND DO HIS WORK ON HIS OWN COMPUTER! AND NOW BECAUSE OH HIM I DON'T GET MY MARKS. i have never been so annoied in my life. He's not using his own computer because some other people are using his computer to PLAY GAMES.

SO ASK THEM TO MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My day was fine... i was fine.. everythign was good... so y come and screw it up now... it's not fair... my life is a mess at the moment.. i'm behind time for so many things... i hate it.. i totally hate it... i get so caught up in lerning something that i i have no time to lern somethng else.... i need to manage my time bertter.... i know.. but how ? life was so much more easier when things were simple... i was about to write a happy ahppy blog earlier.... but now everything is screwed up... wtf man... this guy... so called "bomber man".... .thank god i nver played the game... and thank goodness i hated it when i found out abt it..... this fellla i can't stand...sints in my chair and does his work in my chair! He gets marks but i dont!! WTF?!?!!?!??! I think my teacher is blind or some thing... he did not give me marks for participation... but how could he WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS USING IT!?

God dammit.. why won't people STOP TAKING ME FOR GRANTED?!!?!?!? I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND... I'M NOT EVEN NICE TO U... WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WOULD LEND U MY STUFF SO THAT YOU CAN GET THE DAMN MARKS???? SO WHAT IF U LABEL ME A BITCH JUST BECAUSE I HAD THE BALLS, THAT U OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE, TO ASK YOU WHY INFRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS ANC U CAN CAN EVEN LIE TO MY FACE WHEN U KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH! I DON'T CARE.. COS I DON'T NEED YOUR YELLOW ASS TO LIFE MY LIFE!! SO FUCK OFF!!!!

I'm so proud of myself.. hehe.. Tell me what ya'll think ?? I did this all on my own!! WeEeEeEe~* now will someone teach me flash?!

I love my baby... I love my baby.. And I miss him so much... I really do yes I really do.. I did the meanest thing I could have ever done in my whole entire life.... I pretended to break up with him so that he'd learn his less . I've been trying change him.. To be like me.. So that.. People won't hate him so much.. I don't want people to hate him... I want people to say wow..Dan.. He's such a cool guy. Why does he love to proclaim that he's a bastard.. Why does he like to say mean stuff abt killing people.. Why does he like to talk abt my past that makes me feel so cheap? Why?? Why doe she want to be heard all the time.. Why doe he want to be the center of attraction all the time.. Why must he be so loud?! I think his ear drums are damaged... What's the point of listening to something louder then usual when u can hear it at the normal Volume and still hear everything.. Why must u stare at people who stare at you.. Why is it so hard to be patient.. Why is it so hard to love people who hurt you ?? Is it all that difficult to know that people hurt you just because they don't know or understand you...?

Does a parents' up bringing really matter at the end of the day when a young adult or who ever can tell the difference between right and wrong...? And if u have God with you... To teach you and guide you... If u have faith in him... What do we have to worry about ? Yes I get angry at things that happen in the world.. But I'm never angry for long... If something bad happens.. I belief God has his plans... And he knows that I becomes sad when my baby gets stuck on ship... God's been really kind to let me see him so many times this week... I'm truly thankful... I love my baby... Oh yes I do.. And I really miss him.. I made him cry.. I always seem to make him cry... Am I actually helping him like I think I am... Or am I hurting him... And pushing him back into that dark place I where found him... ? I love my baby.. I really do.. And I never want him to go away... He keeps me safe and he takes good care of me..And he loves me for who I really am and all I ever do is make him cry.... I wish people could see past all that he pretends to be and see him for how he really is... He's really nice once u really get to know him... He's a nice friend... I wish people would stop saying bad stuff about us and say good stuff... I hear abt how Daniel is how he talks so much.. How he's so short.. How he's so loud.. And how he's a nag... Why do people think twice before picking up his phone call...? I never hear how Daniel is so nice.. And how he helped me when I was hungry.. Or how I had no money to go home and Daniel gave me money to take cab home... And how I did not even have to return the money... How Daniel is always willing to help.... And how he's always there for the people he care for... He may not be perfect.. So are u people out there.... Despite of your imperfections.. God still loves you... And despite of your short comings there are some friends who are willing to stand by you if your family will not.... I'm not asking for your sympathy... I'm not asking you to send us a thank you hamper..All I'm saying is that.. It does not take a lot to say thank you or a soft whisper of thanks in our ear to reassure us that we're appreciated... Don't you guys like it too when we say nice things abt ya'll... ? He's only human... It does not pay to be nice... Perhaps that's why some people are mean... Still a kind word goes a long way for the people who are close to us.

I love you baby and I'm never gonna leave you. I miss you when you go away.. But some times people don't understand what we see in each other... In same way we may never know what couples like man and leen see in each other... I guess... With Love or at least some thoughtfulness everyone would be happier.

If you don't like me say it to my face. I would respect you for that because you have the balls to speak your mind.... But if you EXPECT me to read your mind and not disturb you then I'm only human. YOU may be superhuman and have the ability to read people's minds among other superhuman abilities but I don't.. That's why I prefer being honest. Don't like me ? That's your problem.. You see the softer side of me ... But don't be fooled... Still waters run deep. YOU are delusional if you think she loves you. She is delusional if she thinks she's the victim. FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!! Thanks to girls like her the rest who ARE actually top notch girls will be labeled as bitches as well... In the end... They become the thing they hate the most... Men... They become butches.... And you're telling me that I have no brains!?!??! You know what... SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME!

On the other hand ... Deep Purple Kicked Ass!!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! I'm going to their hotel now to get my poster signed.. I'll be back to put up another post.. I have more thing to say.

Today is the day.. That I'll finally watch my very first concert... Deep Purple... Why do I get this feeling Dan can't make it... ? As I type.. I think he's still in CNB... Sigh... I just know the stupid ship will call him back and I won't see him again for don't know how long.. We'll drift further and further away form each other until eventually we have a "silent" break up... And that's the end of this so called new chapter in my life. BUT I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN! What happened to all the joy.. The love.. The fun.. I'm so bored.. I only have my computer for company.. a bunch of pain in the ass kids who only care about them selves and a leaking air-conditioning unit. I still don't know why I fell for Dan... But I love him very much... Now..I feel like he's my buddy... Someone I hang out with....What happened to the feeling of loving him... ? I feel its just programmed in my mind that I love him... Maybe we've spent too long apart... I guess what my brother and Stephanie had was really lasting...Too bad it went to waste after 3 long years... What' going to happen to me...? Is the same thing going to happen to me as well ???

Today was a screwed up day.. My day was going fine until I had an XML test... I asked my teacher if it was practical or theory... She said she's not sure.... NOT SURE?! So the next time you come to class and if u asked me if I've done my homework I'll say I'm not sure okay?! Dumb ass bitch... Never mind that.... I had to get through the damn test. At least what I studied came out... Still it was section c that nearly made me waste about a thousand dollars.... I was very close to smashing the computer....... Can someone please tell me what the fuck "XML id" means!?!?!??!?! Then.... I find out that my bill is $60 Bucks! Oh well at least I got to the bill first......

Dan & Jo

I was waiting for today the whole week.. And when it finally came.. It disappeared... My joy short lived.. But still.. I lived it for a while. Not enough to keep me going.. But enough to keep me alive I guess. Life with out my baby stinks... I feel so lost... I have n one to hold... I feel so insecure... I'm so dependent on him.. I don't know what to do with out him... Hell he is my life and I his. Why.. Why did u have to go away... Deep purple concert coming up... Praying I can make it... With him of course... It'll be my very first concert... And sigh... IT'S JUST NO FAIR! Every where I turn there are couples in their own world.. Oblivious to the fact that they are being watched... I miss you baby.. Why do u have to do this... Sigh.. I want u to be the best u can be.. But for you to be the best I have to suffer.... But I have to be strong for him.. Even today.. I was tearing up inside... I finally get to see him after so long... And the y take him away from me...It's not fair! He's mine! Give him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby... I'm wearing both of your rings... I'm waiting for you to come back again... Don't be sad that I'm feeling like this... I know that for us to succeed... We have to get through this. It's a slowly but surely path I guess... I'll be fine and please don't over work ya self and don't get sick on purpose just to see me... I love you and nothing will keep us apart for long... Not even God.

Today... Boring day....Another long long day..Until I got the best news in ages.. Baby's booking out....TOMORROW!!! Yeah.. And we're gonna spend the whole day together. Finally... Sigh.. I get to see my baby. God is merciful. I told my mom I have a date tomorrow... And the first thing she says is... I hope it's not with Daniel... But then again what do our parents know about dating?? They never dated! LOL! Told her it's not up to her to decide who I'm to date... But seriously.. It's not about good looks and where someone lives... If his parents can accept me... Why won't my mine? She's a walking annoying contradicting confusing hypocrite. Don't they want me to be happy ? I guess.. (yes I'm guessing again...) parents will never approve of their children's wedding... My grandparents did not agree... Later some how the did... So I'm predicting that they won't approve of mine. And for God's sakes.. If u want me to get married around 25...(U CRAZY AH!?!?! haven't finish poly also!) Daniel's your only chance. We are career people. Don't expect kids from us... you can expect fantastic dogs though.... If you want grandkids, go get your son married to whoever... He has to carry on the name, not me. Dan will convert for me... he loves me that much. My dreams of getting married under a waterfall in the Carribean and going to sunday mass with Dan is not far fetched. It WILL happen... watch out world... nothing is gonna stop us now.


Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

-Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You

It's another day with out my tiger... Yes I admit it's very much quieter but still it's too quiet. Anyway... He's supposed to come back by now... There's still no sg network...So.. I guess I'll have to wait... I've never had so much time on my hands... And unusually I'm able to concentrate on my school work better than I used to... Rather than drift off into daydream land.... Dan and I are gonna see deep purple. I hope nothing happens and he not be able to make it. The navy is a shitty life... For him and for me... But it's what is keeping us and our dreams alive.

Sorry about the pop ups people... But if u listen to similar songs as my baby and gang do, you might appreciate this. It's done by i don't know who.. but lusht look up Apocolyptica. You'll be able to find it.

I want to giver her a surprise... Dez says she'd be at her house today.... but... I don't know... what if she does not want me around? what if she does not like what i did for her. I was told that she's changed.. would she still like the same things ?? I know if dan was here he'd come too... We'd cheer her up anytime!... but is she upset in the first place ?