Lost...

I got a job... yeah.. decided that being another burden to Daniel is not exactly what a girlfriend should do. I'll be working there and I'll probably have some money to share with Daniel.

I'm afraid of getting a job. I feel weird. I feel as if I'm going to be bound to responsibility... I know I have to be responsible at one point in my life.. but I'm afraid of change.. I'm also afraid I'll screw up at work. I start at 10.40 in the morning.. I can't go dog wlaking!! *SOB* Tomorrow... I have to take pictures of a few dogs for the SPCA website and it has to be up by the friday...hmm... perhaps after work I can do it. I think i Really have to draw up a time table.

I'm also starting school next tuesday... I'm afraid that I won't be good at it.. If I screw this up too.. what then will I do ????? I wanna be the best.. everryone is telling me I'll be the best.. I will do really well.. They can see me running my own place... Sigh.. I just wanna be with Daniel.. and my family and I want everything to nice and happy.. I'm afraid.. very afried of the life that is to come. I will have 3 things to juggle... Dog walking... Work and school.... I think I will call my teacher and ask him when my school days are.. thn I'll draw up a time table.. I'm just afraid I won't beable to spend time with my loved ones.. Daniel and My mom and dad... I guess I have to grow up.. I guess my days of being happy and not caring abt much has got to end.. I have to work. I have to support my self...

After typing so much I feel like I've still not expressed my self... Something is wrong... I mean... I wanna be free but I wanna put my time to good use.. I wanna do what I want.. but if I do what I want.. I can't be putting my time to good use.. But If doing what I want is putting my time to good use... Thn.. I'd be wasting my time.. Is doing what I what wasting my time? Am I putting my time to good use?? Or am I just useless??????